If time goes back, I want to accompany my mother to have a reunion dinner and go back to the front line.

Xinhua News Agency, Wuhan, February 18th: If time goes back, I want to accompany my mother to have a reunion dinner before going to the front line —— A record of Song Xiuhui, a nurse in Badong County, Hubei Province.
Xinhua News Agency reporter Tan Yuanbin
Mother has been away for 11 days, and Song Xiuhui still has an unspeakable pain in her heart. Every day when I return to the hotel from the isolation ward, I am too busy to remember, and suddenly I feel that kind of pain, like blood coming out of a punctured blood vessel.
In these 11 days, except for the day after her mother left, she spent in the hotel "recalling the past and regretting herself, staying on the windowsill and looking at the direction of home", and she never left her post one day.
On January 23rd, the day before New Year’s Eve, the infectious diseases department of Badong County People’s Hospital in Hubei Province admitted the first suspected patient from COVID-19. As a nurse in the infectious diseases department, Song Xiuhui did not hesitate to join the anti-epidemic front line.
At that time, the elder sister and mother were waiting for her and the second sister to go back for the New Year in their hometown in the countryside. That night, she went back to the county home to pack her things, called her elder sister and her second sister who were also in the county, and told them that she was on duty and could not go back for the New Year.
On the 24th, New Year’s Eve, Song Xiuhui entered the isolation ward. Her second sister later wrote: "Because of the epidemic, my sister didn’t have a reunion dinner with us for the first time in history. We have enlightened our mother in advance and explained the truth. My mother said,’ I understand’. "
Since New Year’s Eve, Song Xiuhui has traveled between the hotel and the hospital every day. On the fifth day of the first month, my mother, who had suffered from immune system diseases for a long time, got worse and lived in a department of Badong County People’s Hospital, separated from the infectious diseases department by a building. Mother repeatedly told: "You can’t tell Xiaohui, and you can’t affect Xiaohui’s work." The family really didn’t tell Song Xiuhui. On the sixth day of the first month, she didn’t know that her mother was in hospital until she heard a colleague in a department inadvertently talk about it.
Although she is only separated by a building, she can’t go to see her mother. Video chat has become a link between mother and daughter, with Song Xiuhui at this end and her mother at that end. Although suffering from illness, my mother always encourages her in the video: "Don’t worry about me, you should take care of yourself and protect yourself."
After treatment, my mother’s condition improved. On February 1, the eighth day of the first month, two sisters who took care of their mother discharged her.
On February 6, Song Xiuhui suddenly felt very uneasy and sent video requests to her mother many times. "Mom just fell asleep after eating …" "Mom is in the toilet …" Second sister pushed away the video of her and her mother for various reasons.
"My sister asked for a video, and I was blocked. I am going to wait until my mother has taken painkillers and her condition is slightly better. I never thought about it, but there is no such opportunity anymore." Her second sister wrote.
That night, Song Xiuhui worked the night shift. After work in the early morning of the 7th, on her way back to the hotel, she saw an obituary of her mother’s death in the WeChat group in the village. The cold wind was biting, and she couldn’t help crying.
Waiting for her is a very painful choice. Although she really wanted to go back to see her mother for the last time, for the safety of her family, she finally made up her mind not to go back, hiding her pain in her heart and continuing to stick to her post.
"I dare not think that when the epidemic is over and my sister can go home, her mother is already a pile of loess. Such pain, such pain, such regret, when can I let go? " Her second sister wrote, "There are no heroes falling from the sky, only the ordinary ones without hesitation!"
On the 8th, Song Xiuhui rested in the hotel for a day, recalling her mother’s past. 9, then go to work. Put on protective clothing and walk into the ward. Facing the patient, she forgot to think about her mother leaving.
A few days ago, a little boy named ice cream that Song Xiuhui took care of was discharged from the hospital with his parents. Their whole family was safe, which made her feel strong inside, and the remorse and regret in her heart were a little relieved.
"Mom and Dad have suffered too much by farming for us to study. If time goes back, I want to accompany my mother to have a reunion dinner and then go to the front line. However, no matter how sad I am, I will stick to the end because patients need us. " Song Xiuhui said. (End)
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